Starsky tripped merrily down the purple corridors of the Decepticon's undersea base like a ping-pong ball rolling through a maze. Her electric pink paintwork shone merrily, like a candyfloss beacon of love and good cheer. Her dear darling Megatron had told her to comport herself in a more martial fashion, but, well, dearest Meggie-woo was joking, she was sure. After all, he loved her, didn't he? He just hadn't said it yet.
But today would be the day. Starsky was sure of it. Megatron would look at her with those big red eyes like cherry lollipops and announce his undying love and devotion to her - it would be so romantic! And then there would be the wedding to plan, and the children to name ... Starsky smiled happily to herself as she skipped towards her future husband.
On her way, she passed Ravage, who was still trying to remove the bow she'd tied around his neck. She patted the sweet little kittybot on the head, ignoring the half-hearted swipe he took at her, and danced off towards her love.
She entered the command chamber like a breath of air trapped for a thousand years at the bottom of a stinking marsh. Megatron's mouth twisted into a rictus grimace as she approached him, bunny-hopping on her neon-pink-with-Sunstreaker-yellow-edging feet over to cling to his arm like a limpet about to sink its root into his body and cling to him for the rest of his existence.
"Darling Meggie," she cooed syrupily, resting her head against his upper arm.
Starscream peered around the edge of a computer terminal as Megatron recoiled from the revolting thing that had infiltrated their base. She might look like a Seeker - if any self-respecting member of the Decepticon aerial elite could be persuaded to paint himself such a revolting shade of candy-pink, spend a few days having organic curves and bumps beaten into his bodywork, and then have himself shrunk just enough to be able to look up at Megatron with adoring, no, fawning eyes - but if she was a Decepticon then Starscream would publically renounce his claim to leadership of the Decepticons. Frankly, having her around made him feel like defecting to the Autobots in search of bloodthirstyness and belligerance. Primus knows there'd been little enough of that since she arrived.
Starscream wondered if Soundwave would ever be able to face the other Decepticons again, after the public humiliation of Starsky gushing over his wonderful parenting skills and his affection for the little cassette-bots. Of course, no-one had dared to laugh as she offered to babysit ... not after she insisted Ramjet's tendency to crash into other planes was a cry out for a hug ... nor after she decided Skywarp's pranks were bids for friendship ... and Dirge's solemnity a mask for a depressed soul crying out for love ... and especially not since she had the audacity to publically lecture him, Starscream, Air Commander of the Decepticon Battle Fleet, on how trying to get Megatron's attention through treachery was a Bad Thing and how she was sure Megatron would praise him and value him if he was loyal and dependable and ... and ... Autobot-like.
Starscream grimaced in disgust, and remained in his safe hiding-place.
I told him we should have left that stasis pod alone, he thought, almost snickering aloud as she pawed Megatron's chest with candy-cane fingertips. But nooooo, he had to open it, and now he has Princess Starsky Aurora Windglitter of Thalaria - warrioress without compare, psychic healer, keeper of ancient secrets and all-round useless pink cheesecake bimbo - clinging to him all day.
He thought he could use her as a weapon. Starscream grinned. Serves him bloody right, too.
Starsky attempted to intertwine her fingers with Megatron's but he pulled away.
"Starsky!" he snapped. "I want you to attack the Autobots. Your turbo-charged fighting skills and magic powers will easily destroy them."
"But this fighting is causing so much pain and hate! We don't need to fight the Autobots, Megs-darling. I'm sure they'd negotiate."
Megatron, for what felt like the hundredth time that morning, grimaced in disgust. The creature cooeing on his arm was powerful - after all, she had demonstrated her power upon awakening by unleashing a devastating arsenal of weapons - weapons that she now refused to use against the very Autobots she'd sworn to destroy.
Starsky sighed, again resting her head against Megatron's upper arm. Her love was so overwrought about something. She had to get him to admit his feelings for her - then he would be happy "Darling Meggie," she simpered. "Why won't you admit your love for me?"
"My what?" Megatron barked, as Starscream stifled an outright laugh on the other side of the room.
"Your love for me," Starsky replied in a voice as sweet as corn syrup. "I see it in you eyes - your passion, your love. My warrior soul admires your courage and power but my womanly core sees the tenderness in you."
Megatron stared at her, amazed that she had seen so easily through his devises. He lowered his head towards her.
"Starsky, I ... I have something to tell you," he murmured.
"Oh, Megatron ..."
Megatron leant a little closer, a faint hint of emotion entering his anger as he whispered softly, "I'm already married."
"M-married?" Starsky quavered, lower lip trembling as tears like great drops of de-icer swelled and clashed terribly with her orange eyes and hot pink paintwork.
"Yes," Megatron replied, his hesitation giving way as he, emboldened by her sudden weakness in the face of this knowledge, sought to press his advantage. "I have a wife, whom I love very dearly, and -"
"No, no!" Starsky sobbed, electric blue tears stripped away the shiny chrome from her faceplate. "Say no more! I could never stand between you - no, not even near you! I will interfere no more! I - I will go away forever, to wander through space, bearing my love for you away so that I won't spoil your happiness."
Head down, she slunk from the chamber. A collective breath was held until the pink femme was seen on monitors to soar away - wings, if it was possible, drooping dejectedly - and climb sluggishly through the atmosphere out into the void, and then a collective sigh of breath rushed throughout the whole Decepticon army.
"So," Starscream smirked as he strode up beside Megatron, "You love your wife oh so very dearly?"
"Of course I do, you nickel-plated nitwit," the Decepticon leader replied, a hint of fondness softening the corners of his optics and curling his mouth into a smile as he wrapped his arm around the Seeker's shoulders. "I married you, didn't I?"